1071: Inspirational Saturday 1 - Anne Frank

I happen to be up early today, so this will be a slightly longer post than just a quote.  First, our quote:

It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart. I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery, and death...and yet...I think...this cruelty will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.
      -- Anne Frank

These words have amazed me from the first moment I read them.  Here is this thirteen-year-old girl, in the worst situation imaginable, striving to live up to her ideals and refusing to lose her belief in humanity.  What strength and grace in this girl, little more than a child, but what a soul.  I think I've adopted her belief ever since I read this.  I do believe people are truly good at heart.  I believe they can be bad, and do evil things, but I also believe, at heart, people are good.  And I refuse to abandon my ideals.  I may struggle to hang on to them at times, but in those times of struggle, I am still striving and grasping at them, and I pray I will always have the strength to do so.  After all, I am in good company in my struggle.

1072: Woops.

Okay, so I skipped yesterday.  Yet another reason to do this in the morning.  I'm not going to stress or feel bad about this; I think the purpose of this project is to track things like this (skipping, exhaustion, drive, etc.) so I'm on top of my mood.

I'm definitely liking getting up earlier, though.  It makes me feel more adult, which is funny.  The hard part will be convincing Lorenzo, but since I'm starting law school and opting for the early track (which gets me there at 8:30, eek!), I have a good reason to get up at 6:30 or 7:00 or whatever.  And since we'll be living in a place with a gym, maybe he'll get up early too to work out with me!  Or something.

But it's going to take time.  What is it, two years of getting up at nine or later?  It'll take a long take to get back into the grind of having mornings start in the early AM hours, and I'm okay with that.  I'm just happy it's happening, and even with a hiccup or two, I'm able to adjust.  I'm proud of myself for that.  Yay for me.  I'm also proud of myself for being proud of myself.  Believe it or not, that's coming a long way.

1073: Exhausted

I skipped it.  Exhausted, went to bed early.

1074: Invoices

I didn't get to sleep early enough so I didn't get up as early as I was the past couple of days.  It's okay, though, my landlord wanted to stop by so I was here for that, and I can make up the class.  And I was not getting enough sleep.

Anyway, the sleep, or the getting up (or not getting up) early isn't bothering me.  What's bothering me are my invoices.

While I was looking for work, I stumbled into a freelance gig as a medical interpreter, of all things.  I'm contacted to go to an appointment and translate for the patient.  It usually amounts to helping somone fillout paperwork for ten or fifteen minutes, and then waiting until they're called in to see the doctor, at which point I translate the doctor's questions for the patient and the patient's responses for the doctor.   The doctor does a medical history review and short exam, usually no longer than ten minutes, and then we're all done.  And I get paid for at least two hours' worth of work.

However, to get paid, I have to submit invoices.  And the weird thing is, after a month or so, I started procrastinating on those invoices.  A LOT.  And I don't know why.  At this point, I have maybe five hundred dollars worth of invoices outstanding, and I could really use five hundred dollars.  I'm not sure why I'm procrasting on this.  They are boring to write, but they're not hard.  Just tedious.  I think I'm just so tired of doing busy work, doing the boring crappy stuff.  I think, that at this point, when I have the luxury to do what I want, and I'm getting paid to go study what I want, I don't want to do what I don't want to do anymore.  I don't want to do boring invoices.  I don't want to have crappy, uninteresting jobs.  I don't want to sacrifice anymore.

But this kind of reminds me of something my brother and I would say when we were kids, and my mom would tell us we'd have to wait to buy something on sale.  My brother and I would talk about, how when we grew up, we would never buy things on sale.  Of course, we grew up, and try to always buy things on sale, although my brother, being a man, will buy things at full price when he needs them, we also now understand the rationale behind buying things on sale (and it's not just because we're too poor to afford regular price).

Except I don't yet know the rationale for doing my invoices.  Although, I'm being childish by not doing them.  And I'll feel better once I get them done.  And I owe them.  I'm being irresponsible.

Fine, I'll try to do them again.  Let's see how many I can get done tonight.

1075: I've Really Got to Do This in the Morning

I managed to get up early this morning, but I didn't get around to writing.  I don't think I remembered in the morning, and by the time I did, I had to get going.  I signed on right now to just throw a quick few sentences on here, and I was starting to feel guilty about not posting.  Then I realized a couple of things: one, I really don't have to write treatises on here, and two, I'm doing this for me.  I wanted an outlet for my thoughts, as well as some type of tangible and achievable commitment.   And if I do just come on here and write a sentence or two about my day, or how I'm falling asleep now because I've been managing to get up early (two days, but still, it's happening).

So I won't feel guilty.  Instead, I'll leave my paragraph up, continue to try to get up early and get done the things I want to get done, and write as much as I can, even if it's just one typo-ridden sentence or two.  Just for me.

1076: I've Got to Do This in the Mornings

i woke up early this morning but didnt get to post, and now im doing this from  my phone. its not going well. im going to have to do mornings. ill try this again tomorrow.

1077: The Weekend Approach

Yesterday (Saturday morning), I got up and thought, I should post something now, as I don't know if I'll be back in the evening to post then.  Except I'd just gotten up, I didn't have much to post, and I would have just posted something to the effect of that, so I decided to wait.

Now it's Sunday and I didn't post on Saturday.

Saturdays have always been our day off.  When I was teaching, my husband ended up having to forbid me from working on Saturdays (that sounds bad doesn't it, like he's some kind of ogre that orders me around?  It was more along the lines of, hey, you're working all the time and we never get to have fun together anymore, and we should make time for us.  Why don't you give me Saturdays?  An arrangement that has worked well for us ever since).  Now that I'm starting law school, he reiterated that Saturdays are not to be considered work days.  I like the arrangement as well; it forces me to have some fun time, and as a perfectionist and a person with depression issues, fun time is important.

Anyway, what does that have to do with this blog?  Well, I'm most likely not going to be sitting down and being introspective on Saturdays.  I may, some days; I might have something to say or work out.  But I need a plan, because more likely than not, I'm not going to have the time or inclination to post.

So, I've come up with an idea that I hope will be a solution.  When I was in high school, I used to collect quotes, for my own personal inspiration.  I would create a Word document with the quotes in different fonts and with clip art, and just kept an inspiration binder.  I am the type of person that signs up for the inspirational-quote-of-the-day emails.  So, in keeping with that, I am going to institute Inspirational Saturdays.

That takes care of my problem and kind of holds to the letter of the law I've got going.  Every Saturday, I will post an inspirational quote.  That's it.  I can post more; maybe and explanation, maybe a link to a blog I like or find helpful, or inspiring or thought-provoking, maybe just a mention of a person or action or story that's inspiring.  But it really doesn't have to be more than a quote, and it doesn't, and won't be, "work."  It'll also be fun to get back into the collecting inspiration game.  I think it really did help back when I was in high school, and I can use all the tools I can get as I gear up for the law school challenge.  So, starting next week, Inspirational Saturdays.

Achievable plans are good.